Sunday, May 5, 2013

The Heart Break...


                                  (This one won me the Gold Batom at Blog-A-Ton!!! )

This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 39; the thirty-ninth edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton. The theme for the month is "Break"



He sprang out of bed with the first beep of the alarm. Excitement flush on his face, like that of a new bride on her wedding day, he scurried about his chores. He gelled and parted his hair and combed it neatly, putting a stray strand of hair into place. Donning his favourite shirt and a spray of perfume on it, he was raring to go. She would be waiting and he couldn’t afford to make her wait.

He mounted his bike as if it were a horse and as he rode he felt the cool breeze kiss his face. He wished she would one day kiss him like that! He felt his heart race as he got down from his bike and walked towards the office. She looked down at him from the glass window on the first floor and he thought he saw her smiling. He smiled back at her.

He was early as usual and except the cleaning lady there was no one around. He would have ample time to spend with her before the other staff came in. He hopped up the steps, two at a time and walked up behind her. She was still looking out of the window with her back to him.
‘Hi sweetie, good morning’ he whispered into her ear, turning her around to face him.
She seemed to be smiling at him, like always. She was wearing a blue satin sleeveless full length gown that made her look so alluring!

‘See what I have brought for you today,’ he said as he opened a cardboard box and showed her a pink chiffon saree. ‘This is my favorite colour, sweetie, and look at the silver lace on the border; you’ll look more beautiful than ever when you wear this’ he winked. He unfolded the saree and laid it out on the table for her to see.

 ‘Why won’t you say anything, don’t you like it?’ he asked, and then he saw her shy smile and knew she had liked it as much as he did. So what if she couldn't speak, didn't he always understand the language of her eyes? ‘Let me help you wear it,’ he said. He drew the curtains on the window and switched on the lights. Then he slid the blue satin dress off her shoulders, his eyes tightly shut, ‘ I'm not looking, sweetie, at least not till you tell me to’ he smiled naughtily.

 He knew she did not know how to wrap a saree around herself so he’d have to do that himself too. She watched in awe letting him expertly wrap the beautiful pink saree around her slender waist. When he was done, he looked at her, mighty pleased with himself. She looked like a dream!

He pulled open the curtains and stood there for some time, holding her hand, watching the world walk by on the streets below. Suddenly there was a lot of commotion and people were running helter-skelter on the roads.

‘Wait right here, I’ll just go check what’s happening’ he told her. But no sooner had he said that, he felt the ground beneath his legs shake and rumble. And before he realized what was going on, he saw the glass window crack and break into a thousand pieces. To his utter horror and shock, he saw her fall out of the window several feet down to the ground even before he could hold onto her. Like a madman, he flew down the fight of steps, out of the office building and into the street below.

She lay among the shards of glass her neck apparently broken by the fall. He gathered her in his arms weeping like a child oblivious to the crowd gathered in the street, oblivious to the quake that still continued to shake the earth, oblivious to everything around him but her. She had been the only one who had loved him unconditionally, unmindful of the warts on his face, unmindful of his crooked teeth and unmindful of his bulbous nose.

Even as he wept, he saw his colleagues standing around him exchanging animated glances, trying to suppress their smile. Teary eyed, he picked up a stone and threw it at the office signboard that read ‘NAVRATNA SAREES’. He couldn't bear to work here any more  With her not around, it didn't make sense to come back to this place.  He picked up another stone aiming at his colleagues, but let that drop as they ran away from him.

She may have just been a mannequin to others, but to him she had been the love of his life.  And like those broken pieces of glass, his heart too had broken into a thousand pieces.

                                                     ****************************

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73 comments:

  1. very very touchy !! and the twist .. awesome !! love is love .. !! wonderful story !

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    1. thanks u mysay....ur comment made my day!

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  2. nice,,,and love for a statue/articulated doll...awwwww. nice twist at the end. :)

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  3. Really gripping and interesting post... :)

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  4. Replies
    1. Thank U Suresh...thrilled that this came from u..

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  5. Good take on the theme.It is so sad when unrequited love forces someone to shift his devotion to inanimate objects.

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    1. u read so well Indu....that was exactly my POV too when I wrote this...thanks!

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  6. Oh my gosh...this is really good! U held the suspense till the very end! All the best for BATOM!

    Shreyasi

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  7. This is a well plotted and characterized story...felt the emotions to be strong and genuine...!!!

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  8. good one! you built it really well

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  9. It is so heart touching!
    At first i thought she is dumb, but it was a great revelation at the end..
    A story with a great twist, loved it thoroughly!

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    1. thank u for all the lovely words Kislaya...

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  10. Great idea, great story and great rendition!!Best of luck for the contest. God bless you.

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    1. Thank u so much Usha ma'm...honoured to hear those words..keeps me motivated.

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  11. That was a very good read and whoever would have anticipated that end!! You took me by surprise and a lively tale!!

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    1. Thanks a ton Nanka....! glad u enjoyed it.

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  12. Hahaha! I did not expect that wonderful twist in the end! It had all the emotions of a beautiful romantic story!

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  13. Yesterday I had posted a comment ,but it is not visible here.
    You have written a very emotional story brilliantly.

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    1. comment moderation is enabled, hence it wasn't visible here yesterday. thank u so much again.

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  14. Aah...the concluding part makes the story impeccable. Immaculate narration...racy, sensual and deeply moving. Loved it, Princess :)
    ATB for BAT~

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    1. Thank U so much Panchali! nice to see u back on my space.

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  15. Hmmm good suspense and.. Nice story you put it well.. Keep writing and visiting

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  16. That was some TWIST! A fab, engrossing and a refreshingly different story!
    All the very best for the BAT :)

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    1. Thanks a ton for those lovely words..i'm beaming with happiness!!!

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  17. Ahh what a story my lady,
    too good.
    All the very best for BAT
    Glad to discover you via BLOGATON :)

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    1. thank u Snuffles..(and thanks for pointing out that error in the entry, don't know what I did, my name and title didn't appear properly! *biting my tongue* ) but nevertheless thanks for coming by! and thanks for ur lovely comments!

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  18. Hey!!!
    This wow!!!
    Loved it..
    And the twist makes it more interesting

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  19. Superb.. Tat was lovely love story.. U redefined "Love" & "Break", But did it require a Earth Quake?

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    1. The earthquake is only synonymous to the inner tumultuous heart...

      Thank u for visiting.

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  20. This was AWESOME!!! Absolutely brilliant. I never saw the end coming, and I was zonked by it.

    And now...may we please continue writing like this? :P

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    1. ah! sirjee, now don't make me cry(with happiness of course)!!! makes me nervous rather, wonder if I will live up to ur expectations! and...........thanks a ton!! u made my day!

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    2. Nervous? What on earth for?? You don't have to live up to any body's expectations, least of all mine..you just have to write like this. Ashte :P

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  21. an innocent love story,wonderful

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  22. I kind of guessed the twist yet beautiful narration!

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  23. बेहद मार्मिक और हृदयस्पर्शी रचना
    प्यार को खोने से बड़ा दर्द कोई नहीं

    बधाई स्वीकारे

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  24. That was nice.. and weird at the same time.. Really a BREAK from what I had expected!!

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    1. it is indeed...when people don't find love amongst humans, it is sad that they turn to inanimate things...thanks for coming by.

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  25. Nice twist. All the best for BATOM :)

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  26. nice twist.. and u really show what is true love... after al love is love...:)

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    1. very true Janvi...love is love after all!

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  27. Hearty congratulations Princess for obtaining 1st position in Blog a ton

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    1. Thank you so much Ma'm! getting this on my 100th post makes it all the more special!

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  28. One can say love is lost in the world as one is forced to shift his devotion to inanimate objects, but on a second thought love is love and it can happen anywhere to anyone...awesum take on the subject...loved it :))

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  29. Beautiful! I absolutely love your flight of fancy! :)
    Keep up the good work!

    Cheers!
    j.

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  30. Can't sort of help but wish that living people could somehow look past physical factors and love people for what they are. Else, I suppose, we'll all find ourselves falling head over heels for inanimate objects like these. Nicely done. !

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  31. What a love story! I like it very much. So imaginative you are, Titli!

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  32. I felt sad for the guy. To others he may have seemed like a madman, but if you think about it (despite the obvious element of insanity) it's so sad...
    Well written!

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  33. I could get into your head and guess that she was a mannequin:) lovely story

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  34. I surely loovveeddd this one! The twist was unexpected, but the mannequin idea was cool. It was only when I read that line in which it was specified that some workers laughed that I figured out something was fishy!

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  35. Oh wow! how awesome that was..truly enjoyed it! Just when I thought oh no, I smiled back again! Superb!!

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At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person..deep gratitude for those who have lighted the flame within me!! your comments will be appreciated..

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